How to Avoid the Scores 101

The sad fact is that it's never the same time here as it is in Germany. With most of the World Cup games airing here in Toronto in the morning and early afternoon, those of us who work during the day have little choice but tot record the games or watch the replays without hearing the score on our way home. That means that unless you have a months worth of vacation days to use, it's nearly impossible to watch every World Cup game. Sure, you could fake some type of cancer that miraculously cures it's self on July 10th, but your boss doesn't need to be a doctor to realize you should probably be fired. Below are a few helpful hints to get you from the office to your livingroom in blissful ignorance.
1) The two senses. Sight and hearing are you enemy during the World Cup. Yes, they come in awfully handy during any other time of year, during the next 30 days or so you'll be tempted to stick sharpened pencils in either you eyes or ears. Once you need the office you need to immediately put on your walkman/Ipod/earplugs. Ignore any and all horns, whistles and shouts. Though this leaves susceptible to being hit my a car or being warn about being hit by a car, nothing in life comes without sacrifice. The other sense you need to worry about is your vision. When you see that huge crowd blocking the streetcar you're on, quickly hide your head in a newspaper, boom or magazine. But not a soccer magazine. Which leads me to:
2) Leave Your jersey at Home: Wearing your jersey or anything even remotely suggests you have an interest in soccer leaves you open to entreaties from strangers to comment on the games. Probably the one you're trying to get home to watch. Wait till after the game to don your jersey, novelty foam hand, flag.
3)Avoid the internet. Don't even look at your emails. You never know who might be emailing you with results and commentary.
4) Secure the work environment: Coworkers who wouldn't know a soccerball from a disco ball will suddenly come down with World Cup fever. They'll join the office pool and talk about Henry and Robben like they actually know what they're talking about. But unlike you, most of these people probably never watch a game from beginning to end but they'll want to talk about them. And tell you the scores at ever opportunity. Be forceful without being rude. Tell them you plan to enjoy the games in their entirety after work and thank them for their interest.If they persist, simple put office materials in their bags/purse and inform security.
5) practice your sick voice: Hard as you try to be a good employee, there are some games you just can't miss. Unfortunately, everyone at work will know what you're up to. My advice is to keep it simple. Don't have your grandmother passing away every other day. Testicular Cancer does not clear up in a day. Everyone gets colds. Allergy season is upon us. Keep it simple and believable.
Follow thwese tips and you will be able to make it through a crowd like the one pictured above and remain completely oblivious.